Sunday, May 27, 2012

George says, "My meatballs are better than hers". Really?

This is George, but my wife is typing this for me.  (I think it is just to monitor what I am saying)

My wife and I have always had this little meatball competition.  She'll never admit to it, but, everyone says mine are better.  She just told me that was a complete lie.  I said it isn't.  The truth is, I was making meatballs while she was still in grade school and I learned from my best friends mom, who was a child of Italian immigrants.  She taught me all of her secrets, and my wife can't accept that my meatballs are far superior to her own.  Consistency, flavor, texture, and over all "mmmmm-mmmmm" value is off the charts.

Think he can juggle them?  Mr, Flour and Water make them stay together like glue...ppfftt
For our wedding, I cooked 300 meatballs.  We had about 30 guests, and all 300 were gone in less than 30 minutes.  A feat which my wife has never accomplished.  (ok, this is Chris, this is getting completely ridonkulous, just had to get that in).  Ok, George says, back to him.  Normally I make them slightly smaller than golf ball size, so if we have leftovers they make the perfect meatball sub.  But for a little change I made almost tennis ball size meatballs.

So here are a few of my secrets to amazing meatballs.  The most important secret in the mix is to add a cup of flour.  You will never see anyone add that.  But what it does when you are shaping the meatballs, you wet your hands with water, and roll them in your hand.  The water and the flour works as a glue to seal the meatballs.  The secondary reason for the flour, when you brown them in the pan, it browns them evenly in color.  Another secret is to brown the meatballs in the pan.  DO NOT cook them in the pan, and do not feel tempted to cook them all the way through in the pan or bake them.  The biggest secret of all is the flavor that they will release once you simmer them, in the sauce.  All of the natural flavors from the meat are released into the sauce, even jars of sauce. I also use the Kitchen Aid mixer I so graciously got my wife, to mix the meat mixture.  (see what a great husband I am) I throw everything right in the mixing bowl.  I used to use my hands, so if that is what you have, go for it.  But you need to mix it for 10 minutes until the mixture is completely mixed.

What is THIS? A towel around his neck?  Is he cooking or doing kitchen Olympics?
 So I challenge you to make hers, and make mine.  You be the judge.  Make sure to come back and comment about how good mine are and how there is no comparison in flavor and texture.  (now he is laughing)

Geo's Famous (formerly secret) Meatball Recipe
3 lbs ground beef
1.5 lbs ground pork  (NOT sausage of any kind)
4 cups Italian seasoned breadcrumbs
4 eggs
1 cup flour
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 cup dried Italian seasoning (or more, you can't put to much in, and it can be the dollar store variety it doesn't matter!)
1/8 cup garlic POWDER
1/8 cup dried basil
2 tbsp salt

Mix entire list of ingredients in your mixer or by hand.  Mix for 5 minutes in a mixer or at least 10 by hand.  (this is Chris again, he isn't joking I have witnessed him mixing for 10 minutes by hand)

Shape meatballs into the size you desire.  This time we made slightly smaller than a tennis ball.  Use a bowl of water to wet your hands before forming each meatball.  (I think the best size is golf ball size for the record, like I said above)

While I mix the meatballs up, I have already prepared the sauce.  Here is what I use for my sauce, and yes, it involves jars of sauce:
2 jars of your favorite sauce
1 can diced petite tomatoes
1 container Pomi Strained Tomatoes
1/4 cup Italian seasoning
1/4 cup sugar (This mortifies my wife.  I personally like 1/2 cup)
1/8 cup dried basil
Oregano and red pepper flakes are optional
Salt to taste (optional as well)
Optional - fresh basil to tear and stir in at the END otherwise it will turn black

Simmer  your sauce in a large pot.  Remember you are going to need enough room for all of your meatballs to cook.  We didn't allow for this today. HaHa!

Sorry, back to the meatballs.  When you have formed them all.  In a skillet (nonstick) on medium heat, add 4 tbsps olive oil.

Add meatballs, to the pan, do not overcrowd, leave enough room to turn them a few times, and so they fry and not steam.  You will see when they have nice color, and you can flip them.  When they are done browning take them out and drain them on a cooking sheet lined with paper towels, newspaper or baking racks.  After you have let them drain, place them into your sauce.  The sauce should be at a slow boil by this time.  Make sure to stir often, from the bottom, up.  Do this every 15 minutes for the first hour.  After that let simmer for at least another hour.  For the full great taste of these AMAZING meatballs (was that to much?) let them cook at least 2 hours, more is better.  If they cook 4 they will be even better!  The longer they cook the better the sauce AND meatballs taste.  The meatballs flavor the sauce, and the sauce flavors the meatballs.

We just ate these.  She refuses to admit they are better than hers.  Its ok, you will all try both and let us know, right?  Honestly, I already know the answer.  

Your "awesome Italian ChefWannabe"chefwannabe's husband


  1. OMG... for the love of all that is good in this world, Geo... get off your meatball high horse and come back down to planet Earth, where Chris is Queen Meatball <3